DEC 30 — I have done it. I have become a vegetarian.
Never in a million years did I think I would become one. I had always regarded vegetarians as fervent tree-huggers and Birkenstock-wearing hippies. Me? I was cool. I was one of the boys — I enjoyed my steak.
It's only been a bit over a month since I made the leap, but it feels like I've been doing it forever. And I know there's no turning back.
A friend commented that I took her by surprise. She had not spoken to me in three weeks, and all of a sudden I was swearing off meat.
I laughed.
The fact is I had long debated with myself on whether I should become a vegetarian.
I have always loved animals. About three years ago, I started to feel that perhaps killing animals for human consumption was wrong.
This realisation did not land all of a sudden. In fact, it wasn't a realisation at all, as much as it was a feeling.
But each time that feeling came up, I would push it away. I was raised in a culture that loved consuming meat. To acknowledge that something which I had regarded as normal could perhaps be wrong scared me.
However, I did explore my doubt a few times. I surfed the web for pro-vegetarianism arguments, and even bought a book about animal ethics (I never finished it). But it didn't spur me into action. After all, if you can find an argument for an issue, you can also easily find three arguments against it. Why? Because we see what we want to see.
And an intellectual argument, however elegant, remains exactly that: an intellectual pursuit.
This may explain why I have not done a million things that I say I want to do: like jog every morning, or read newspapers back-to-back. At the end of the day, they remain things that I think I should do. Deep down inside I don't believe in them. Do I really think that reading the newspaper back-to-back would make me a better person? I think not. There are a million ways to be curious.
One night, nearly two months ago, I was writing a college essay about an animal rights campaign. And so I braved myself to watch videos about the treatment of farm animals. I had heard so much about such videos, but had shrugged them off as cheap sentimental ploys. But I know now I was just scared.
Those videos convinced me what I had already felt all along, but was scared to acknowledge: that it is wrong to inflict pain on another living being.
That very same night, I decided that I would not eat meat again.
I have learned a few things since I turned vegetarian. Such as I can easily flick off my desire to eat meat. And that yes, vegetarian food can be scrumptious -- you just have to find ways to be creative. But most of all, I have learned to embrace my feelings.
Once you do this, you are bound to do things that you want to. And those things that you never get around to doing? You simply don't want them enough.
This new year, I am not making any resolutions.